Tales of the Unexpected

The epiphany I’ve been waiting for came from left of centre.

It came in the form of this crazy idea that I would stop doing one-to-one consultations by phone and in person.

Controversial. Unexpected. Surprising.

The last thing I thought I would do yet the more I thought about it, the better it felt. My heart felt light and joyful and my energy rose even though my conscious mind was telling me I was mad.

I’ve been doing one-to-one consultations since 1999 and it is beautiful work, sacred work.

It’s a huge privilege to hold someone’s heart in your hands this way. It calls you to be fully present. Heart wide open. Listening to what is said and what is not. Holding sacred space.

I dive so deep into someone’s emotional world that I’ve found my limit is two clients a week. So all the while that I’ve been marketing my business there’s been an unsaid limit that I’ve set on myself. ‘No more than two clients a week please universe’.

From a business perspective that’s financial suicide and consultation work has never supported me.  I’ve done chunks of freelance work and part-time projects over the years while I focused on the big dream of building my one-to-one work.

I’ve developed other income streams but all the while I’ve been aiming to work with more one-to-one clients.

I thought the day would come when I would be able to accommodate more one-to-one work. I imagined that with more experience it would get easier (because 13 years’ experience clearly wasn’t quite enough…!).

I imagined that I’d reach the stage where I wouldn’t need to dive so deep to find the pearls. I wouldn’t need to meditate for so long beforehand to hold a sacred space. I’d get faster at writing up the information I send out after a session. I wouldn’t need to spend hours researching obscure essences for obscure issues.  Word of mouth would spread so I wouldn’t need to spend so much time marketing….

It hasn’t become easier, and it feels like I’ve been swimming upstream all year.  I’ve felt confused, restless, uncertain, conflicted.

Things don’t flow when the energy isn’t aligned. If there’s any conflict between what your head wants and your heart wants, you’re in trouble.

I started doing this work because in my heart I wanted to support people to heal. I asked myself if that was still my truth and I found a different truth instead.

I want thousands of people to reawaken to the healing power of nature.

Less about me supporting people individually, more about reminding people of the resources that are around them and within them.

I found myself thinking about the hundreds of people I’ve worked with one-to-one and in workshops and classes over the years. And the hundreds of people who have either bought essences from me or whom I’ve pointed in the direction of other essence producers.

I started thinking of how over a hundred people have joined us for Barefoot Breathing, over a hundred people for 10 Steps to Soothe Your Soul in Nature.

I thought about how around 2,500 people are signed up to mailing lists or connect through Twitter or Facebook.  Then there’s all the people who’ve emailed me or left comments because they’ve been touched by posts on this blog or the guest posts I’ve written on almost 30 other sites.

The penny dropped.

I am already reaching thousands of people with my constant reminders about the healing power of nature.

That takes the pressure off! I’m already doing what my heart calls me to do, and one-to-one consultations don’t need to be part of that.

I started to feel much lighter and more joyful. It freed up my energy. That’s what happens when we make the right decisions.

I told my beautiful clients about my decision by email and phone. We’ve shared so much together. I laughed. I cried. Strangely the world didn’t end!

One of my core skills is holding sacred space for someone to feel and offering processes for emotional exploration.  Consultations aren’t the only way I can offer that.

I loved creating the meditations and workbooks for Barefoot Breathing and the Emotional Healing Package. I’m working on a similar package for Healing the Inner Child, with others planned later in the year.

Having spent years doing editing and proof-reading and book design it’s joyful for me to create beautiful e-books.

Having spent years teaching meditation in classes and workshops, it’s joyful for me to create meditations that take people into their emotions to find their own pearls.

This all feels so joyful and creative and gorgeous that it makes my energy soar. My heart feels like it’s going to burst.

I’m still offering Emotional Healing Package and Intuitive Diagnosis because they feel light. Jason and I are planning real-life (as opposed to online!) workshops this summer and, if the weather is good, we’ll make more flower essences.

I’ve developed the Emotional Balance Kit for people who want the benefits of the Emotional Healing Package without essences.

It’s taken me a while to get to this point but it feels so good.

Sometimes we miss the obvious; we get so stuck in thinking ‘this is how I do things’ that we don’t notice when they no longer fit.

Sometimes we need to let go of what we love to find what we really love.

Are you feeling stuck or confused or like things aren’t flowing just now?  I can guarantee that something needs to change. It might be a big change or a subtle shift but something needs to change.

Life flow effortlessly when your energy is fully in alignment.

If you feel like you’re swimming upstream, I dare you to get playful and ask yourself what change you can make that (secretly) seems a little bit crazy.

Daring. Unexpected. Controversial.

Pull apart your notion of who you think you are, where you live and what you do. Contemplate doing something quite different and notice if it makes your energy soar.

Contemplate letting go of something that you thought you would always be doing and notice if it makes your energy soar.

Turn your world upside down or shake it up a little.

Surprise yourself. Do something unexpected. Out of character.

Maybe you already are. I’d love to hear your tales of the unexpected.

“If nothing ever changed, there’d be no butterflies” – Anon

Beautiful butterfly images courtesy of Jason Smalley

 

24 Responses to Tales of the Unexpected
  1. Jo Crawford
    June 4, 2012 | 6:12 pm

    I found this to be such an uplifting and joyuous post, Jackie. So thrilled to hear your full moon epithany and realignment. You do reach and touch so many and I’m heartened to hear that you are owning and accepting this success. No more need for depletion. Wishing you all the best ahead.
    Jo Crawford recently posted..Chakra Balancing TipsMy Profile

    • Jackie Stewart
      June 4, 2012 | 6:22 pm

      Thank you dear Jo, there’s been a lot of letting go of ancestral ties to get to this place, which I know you’ll understand. Thanks for stopping by, love Jackie xxx

  2. Nicola
    June 4, 2012 | 6:15 pm

    I love your epiphany. This is definitely the year for letting go of stuff. It’s quite incredible. Am excited to hear about the offline workshops!

    My unexpected thing was to stop blogging and do email updates instead. I spent ages tweaking a new WordPress site but it didn’t feel right. In the end, I created a simple Mailchimp template and started emailing every couple of days. It feels so much better but very counter intuitive as a way to market my work! I still need to do more thinking around it but I am loving sitting at my keyboard typing my email updates!

    I look forward to what comes next!
    Nicola recently posted..About MeMy Profile

    • Jackie Stewart
      June 4, 2012 | 6:24 pm

      Yes 2012 is about letting go all right. I think us Taureans can tend to stick with things longer than most so I’m glad you’re also feeling the call to let go and listening to your intuition. I’m so glad to hear that your email updates feel more joyful than blogging. Love Jackie xxx

  3. Di
    June 4, 2012 | 8:32 pm

    oh, what a beautiful post. I particularly love this bit “Sometimes we miss the obvious; ‘this is how I do things’ that we don’t notice when they no longer fit. Sometimes we need to let go of what we love to find what we really love.”

    Literally in the last 2 days I’ve been letting go of physical items which represent my aspirational self and my past – old artwork, drawing tools and other keepsakes i’ve been dragging around with me for over 20 years without noticing – because I thought they were who I am/would be. It’s so exciting – I’m not sure yet quite what I’m creating the space/ room for but look forward to finding out (one barefoot breath at a time) xox

    • Jackie Stewart
      June 4, 2012 | 9:01 pm

      Wow Di, I can feel the liberation in your letting go. I can’t wait to discover what emerges in your new space. Thanks for commenting, love Jackie xxx

  4. Ruth
    June 4, 2012 | 9:09 pm

    Oh Jackie, this post just totally lit me up! Especially this part: “This all feels so joyful and creative and gorgeous that it makes my energy soar. My heart feels like it’s going to burst.” Congratulations, you must be so proud. Thank you for sharing it here with us. I’m aiming for this feeling! I’m in the middle of big transitions and feel a bit lost at the moment, so I’ll remember this :) Hurray for you!
    Ruth recently posted..in another life, i’d be a party planner.My Profile

    • Jackie Stewart
      June 5, 2012 | 7:53 am

      Dear Ruth, I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling lost but I know your heart will keep on guiding you home. It’s taken me a long time to reach this point – me who is normally inspired and excited and filled with inner knowing. I’ve been lost and floundering for months and the shifts and insights have come bit by bit, listening to my heart, being in nature, searching for my truth. I hope you are soon in energy-soar mode too, love Jackie xxx

  5. Joanna Paterson
    June 4, 2012 | 9:14 pm

    Wow, I can feel the whoosh of energy and lightness from here. I am so pleased for you.

    Your work – your words, your material, your reminders, your spirit, your kindness in this busy online space – it really does make a difference. You have changed so many things for me, remotely, it is a blessing indeed. I will watch and cheer as you do more and more of it.
    Joanna Paterson recently posted..The Holga, and Another Layer of The MysteryMy Profile

    • Jackie Stewart
      June 5, 2012 | 7:54 am

      Thank you so much Joanna, your words really touch my heart and thank you for the cheering! I appreciate it very much! Love Jackie xxx

  6. Gin
    June 4, 2012 | 11:37 pm

    I can’t tell you what an inspiring post this is for me to read right now – how it resonates with what I’ve been going through… knowing things aren’t quite flowing correctly, knowing things aren’t quite in alignment, wanting to follow where my soul and heart and spirit are leading (and yet afraid of what that might mean, especially in terms of money).

    My website business is new, less than 6 months, and I’ve had online Etsy shops for 2 years. I’ve realized I’m being led to let go of making so many physical products, narrow them down to only a few, and focus way more on my website and what I offer there. And what I’m offering there on my site is evolving – I’m adding things, taking other things away as I realize they’re not in alignment with what feels right for me to do right now. I’m making plans for other things to add. And – finally – I know it’s time to focus on writing again.

    Will any of this work out? I’m not sure. And letting go of making most of the physical products (which is what was bringing in the most money for the business) scares me more than a little. But your words: “If there’s any conflict between what your head wants and your heart wants, you’re in trouble.”… those words ring so true to me right now. I’m in a transitional and transformational phase – and it feels exciting and scary, at the same time.
    Gin recently posted..an interview with Blessing Manifesting…My Profile

    • Jackie Stewart
      June 5, 2012 | 7:58 am

      Oh Gin I totally understand. I’m delighted to hear you’re going to be writing more because your writing is beautiful. I understand about taking away the physical products and I understand about the money fear, but I also know that your heart truth is bigger and brighter than that. It sounds like it’s just going to take a little tweak for you to transform into a place of greater alignment. I can’t wait to see what happens! Love Jackie xxx

  7. g. amber may
    June 5, 2012 | 7:09 am

    wow and thank you… i have been stuck for a while now and i just started to see some movement. it came about by opening up and asking for help everywhere i went and finally someone was discarding just the help i needed-a book. i have thanked the everything for this gift and your lovely epiphany reminds me to listen to my soul to let the rest of the shackles fall away. you are an inspiration!

    • Jackie Stewart
      June 5, 2012 | 8:01 am

      Asking for help can be such a tough one but it gets easier! I’ve asked for lots of help over the past couple of years having previously prided myself on being so independent. I can see it’s been such a blessing to open myself to receive. I’m so glad this resonates with you and as you keep listening to the truth in your heart, all that’s not truth and love will fall away. Thanks for commenting, love Jackie xxx

  8. Karina
    June 5, 2012 | 4:48 pm

    Dearest Jackie, I am so happy to hear that you are feeling free and full of energy again. I believe it’s so important to let go of who we think we are and of what we think we should be doing in order to open up the space for new and better things.

    I have recently realized that I am free to do workshops anywhere in the world. My children are no longer tiny babies and I can leave them with their dad for a couple of days to do a workshop. Wow! I just did my second one last weekend and it was amazing.

    I am sending you lots of Love and Sunshine, Karina
    Karina recently posted..Guest blogger: Tanja GardnerMy Profile

    • Jackie Stewart
      June 5, 2012 | 5:29 pm

      Dear Karina, thank you for understanding and expressing it so beautifully. That is huge – realising you don’t have limits to where you can work now that your babes are older. Wow! My son starts high school after the summer which feels huge and freeing for me. He’d much rather be playing basketball with his friends than having quality time with mum these days! Sending you love right back but no sun here I’m afraid so have some magical raindrops instead! xxxx

  9. Michelle - Germany
    June 5, 2012 | 6:15 pm

    I admire you so much for having the strength to make this decision – I only wish I had made my appointment before it was too late!! But never mind, you have given me so much already and I will book my Intuitive Diagnosis this week! I adore your meditations and the yre helping me at a difficult time in my life where I find many old fears and anxieties surfacing and sometimes overwhelming me. I know nature is the answer for me, I am at my best and most relaxed when outside and gardening or taking photographs of flowers…I hope my photographic art will soon take off even if in only a small way, in greetings cards and perhaps some prints. I miss the UK still after so many years abroad….and today music came back into my life big time..soothing my soul. I wish you well Jackie and thank you again for this beautiful website and Essence Of Wild. With love. XX

    • Jackie Stewart
      June 5, 2012 | 6:24 pm

      Thank you for your lovely comment Michelle and I’m so glad the meditations are helping. You’re not alone in finding old fears and anxieties resurfacing, it feels like lots of old stuff is being brought up for many of us just now to be transformed into love and light. I hope you’ll be spending lots of nurturing time in your garden and soaking up love from the flowers, love Jackie xxx

  10. Jackie Walker
    June 6, 2012 | 10:55 am

    Congratulations Jackie, what a sense of relief and joy your post brings, long may it continue. I recently announced I was leaving the world of relationships, or at least the ones I’m known for. It too gave me that fantastic release of energy to pour into what I feel is more aligned and true. Much love x
    Jackie Walker recently posted..Could you start to laugh at serious things?My Profile

    • Jackie Stewart
      June 6, 2012 | 11:23 am

      Yes – alignment and truth is where it’s at! So glad you’re following your energy to do what’s right for you too. Love Jackie xxx

  11. Lori-Lyn
    June 11, 2012 | 2:42 pm

    Thank you so much for sharing this.
    I can’t even express what it means to me – I’m experiencing a similar epiphany at the moment.
    I’m so glad to know you.
    xoxoxo.

    • Jackie Stewart
      June 11, 2012 | 3:19 pm

      Oh Lori-Lyn, thank you. I’m so glad it resonates and I look forward to hearing about your epiphany and what that will mean for you. Love Jackie xxxx

  12. alison Baker
    June 14, 2012 | 4:12 pm

    Hi there – thanks so much for sharing your inner thoughts and transformation. Somehow your email moved itself to the top of my inbox, despite being received over a week ago and I was drawn to reading it after a day walking in the forests near where I live in the French Alpes. It’s been a contemplative day with a variety of emotions. But your phrase: “If there’s any conflict between what your head wants and your heart wants you’re in trouble,” sums it up aptly. Everything feels so do-able when outside in nature without the distractions of life so it’s been good to hear your account of opening yourself up to the next stage of life and I’m opening my arms to receive it too! Blessings x

    • Jackie Stewart
      June 18, 2012 | 10:31 am

      Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and I’m glad this post resonated with you. How wonderful that you’re opening your arms and heart to welcome what’s next for you. Love Jackie xxx

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